I Almost died tonight... or so I thought

My husband and I were invited out by a very charming couple whom I had not met until tonight. The man and my husband work together.

The restaurant is one of our favorite and has been in the county for years and the owners were once our neighbors back in the day when we were all poorer.
We enjoy the ambiance of being in a home setting with a group of people who are there to enjoy a 6 course meal of fine foods and wines. There is no music or crowds of people coming and going; only the quiet chatter and laughter of close friends or business associates enjoying life.
Our table is in one of the smaller rooms of the house. I am facing a couple at a small table pressed up against the wall by the door. She has an engagement ring on and they are smiling and laughing with eyes only for each other. Everyone in the room is absorbed within their little group: quietly eating, drinking and talking non-stop.

The second course arrives and I notice it's the very rare lamb, sliced in thin, small disk shapes; that is delicious, but very hard to cut because of it's rubbery texture. I think nothing of it as I struggle to cut and tear a smaller piece off.

I am hoping my cold is gone, but sometimes I feel a dryness in my throat which reminds me to drink plenty of water. I feel energize by the company and our conversation which borders on death since my lady companion deals with death in her profession. She is a therapist for people who are going through terminal illness and for people who have lost loved ones. I didn't know there is actually a therapist for death. Good thing to know when you are about to die that night.

While eating, I am always mindful of how I am eating because I have noticed on occasion when I am stressed, I will swallow my food without chewing it.  I had often wondered what I would do if I actually took a bite that I could not swallow
.....until tonight.

I had this funny feeling in my throat.  I  normally can't feel my throat until it's sore; and now, when something small is lying on it, stuck. There it was, that thinly cut piece of dry rare lamb clinging to my dry throat. It would not go down. It was like breathing with a loosely tied  noose around my neck; making me feel claustrophobic.
I didn't want to panic, yet. I quickly grabbed the first glass of liquid in front of me.
The very red wine.

My first thought: everyone at my table knows I am having a slight problem because I am not talking: big clue.
I have a distressed look on my face:  help me...maybe?.... I'm not sure. Yet !

Second thought:  they won't think anything is wrong because I am grabbing the wine, and not the water.

I point to my throat; all the while, thinking: I cannot believe this is happening to me. I feel I am reenacting the scene in Tootsie.
Unlike the movie, I don't want to make a scene, even if I die. Everything has to be prim and proper.

Obviously, I can breathe a little or I would NEVER be this calm; although I did feel an urgency since I had no idea where that piece of meat was going or if I would freak out.  I was quietly wheezing.

While I am pointing to my throat, the lady looks to my husband and quietly, but with great urgency, says, "Heimlich, Heimlich.
My husband looks startled. He has never done the Heimlich Maneuver.
Knowing the stance, I get up, first, slowly and quietly with my large cloth napkin in position to catch anything I might throw up.

My husband hesitates, still looking at our lady friend who is directing him to put his arms around me. He keeps saying to me, "Are you sure...."
I am thinking: What are you waiting for? Just do it!.

FINALLY! He reaches around me, still uncertain, and squeezes my boobs.
Holy SMOKES!  I know I'm going to die now.

I am still calm enough to direct him to squeeze LOWER, under my boobs.
All this time, I am subconsciously holding my napkin under my face, properly, so I won't make a mess on the rug or anyone else near me.

Spilling forth, I can see red liquid. I hear the lady saying, "blood, it's blood."
I am thinking: It's blood?
I don't have my glasses on, but it looks red enough.
I see the meat tidily nestled within my nice and clean large white cloth napkin and a flood of red liquid that had come out through my nose.
I am thinking the same thing the lady is thinking: I am bleeding internally and this is more serious than I think.

When someone is dying, they usually see their whole life flash before them.
I didn't see my life flash before me.
Her husband says, "it's red wine, not blood."

I neatly wrap the cloth up so it looks all white and clean without a trace of red wine. I wipe my mouth and nose.
Then I start laughing. I sit down and we all laugh and continue our conversation about death.

In between courses, during the break, the man sitting across from our table asks me if I am "O.K."  He said he was amazed at how easy and calmly we made the whole incident seem. His brother is a lifeguard and he knows about life saving techniques, but he had never seen one done.
Later, I realized that everyone in the room stopped eating when I got up. They all watched quietly until I started laughing before they preceded eating and talking as if nothing happened. The owners of the restaurant nor the servers knew anything was wrong. No one freaked out.
I asked for a clean napkin.