Military Rape Victims

Last week I saw a number of informative news and talk shows about sexual harassment in the military, in muslim countries; the rape in Egypt of a CBS reporter and the muslim countries' revolution and how that effect women's rights.
I thought how lucky I was to have survived some near incidences without really knowing the dangers of being in another country or being in the military.

The world is still barbaric when it comes to equal rights for all humans. It's all about power and control.

Didn't I once say that on a polar opposite planet: the insane would be considered sane.
Well, here we are folks!
All these dictators, the insane, running the countries and controlling the people. They are allowed to shoot and kill innocent people. They command armies. Is this SANE?

And not far behind them are our American military commanders.
The military is a dictatorship. Our military runs with the same barbaric mentality that the Muslim world has towards its women.
Men controlling women with fear. It's all about power.

     "SGT Havrilla deployed to Afghanistan in 2006. Her supervisor sexually harassed her, stating on one occasion that he “really wanted to fuck [her] right now.” On another occasion, as SGT Havrilla’s peers watched, he walked up behind SGT Havrilla, grabbed her waist and kissed and bit the back of her neck. He began to slap her bottom whenever he passed by. He also belittled and mocked SGT Havrilla [SGT] Havrilla suffered from the harassment to such a degree that she sought medical assistance. Subsequently, SGT Havrilla worked with an individual from a canine unit. That same colleague raped her. He pulled her into his bed, held her down, and raped her. He

also photographed the rape. SGT Havrilla reported the sexual harassment and rape within approximately one month, under the

military’s restricted  reporting policy. In February of 2009 SGT Havrilla reported for four weeks of active duty training. 

During this training, she saw her rapist in the shopette on Fort Leonard Wood. Upon seeing her rapist, SGT Havrilla went into shock. She immediately sought the assistance of the military chaplain. When SGT Havrilla met with the military chaplain, he told her that “it must have been God’s will for her to be raped” and recommended that she attend church more frequently.   

SGT Havrilla suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and chronic depression."

Unfortunately, when the military sends their women along with their men anywhere in the world, you would think the men would protect "their own" instead of being the threat. Not all soldiers are threats, but there are some in command positions that feel they can abuse women.

Now that a woman's defense organization is suing Defense Secretaries Gates and Rumsfeld for that mind set of controlling women through rape;

Defense Secretary Gates thinks he is covering his derrière by telling the Senate committee that the military is putting more people in charge of the complaints department.

Rumsfeld 'Ignored' US Military Rape Problem (news.sky.com)

  ........"Although she complained to authorities and was bruised from her shoulders to elbows from being held down, she says charges were not filed because the commander determined she did not act like a rape victim and did not struggle enough. The lawsuit alleges her attackers include an army criminal investigator and an army National Guard commander.It also asks for a third party to handle complaints as individual commanders have too much say in how allegations are handled."The problem of rape in the military is not only service members getting raped, but it's the entire way that the military as a whole is dealing with it," said Panayiota Bertzikis. a claimant in the lawsuit who claims she was raped in 2006.Ms Bertzikis, who is now the executive director of the Military Rape Crisis Centre, said authorities did not take substantial steps to investigate her claim.The now 29-year-old said she was forced to live on the same floor as her alleged attacker, where she endured name-calling from colleagues. 

Pentagon spokesman Geoff Morrell said in a statement that sexual assault is a wider societal problem and Mr Gates has been working to ensure the military is doing all it can to prevent and respond to it as a "command priority"."That means providing more money, personnel, training and expertise, including reaching out to other large institutions such as universities to learn best practices," said Mr Morrell.The military had already planned to roll out a new hotline victims can call in April, said Pentagon spokeswoman Cynthia Smith.

I was in the military and I know this attitude towards women by their superiors was real. I was fortunately too afraid to allow myself to be put in those situations, but if I did not have a choice and was armed, I don't think I would hesitate to warn them to stay away; especially if I feared for my life.
 Unfortunately, I think most women in the military realize they have to take orders from their boss without question because the military is a dictatorship. ( governed by a dictator: typically one who obtains power by force.

I thought of how stupid it sounded for the Defense Secretary to act as if he needed more people, money and training to solve the problem.   
The Defense Secretary or the President (the Commander in Chief of the armed forces) could have "Commanded" higher moral standards among his commanders in the field or be discharged. 

Hello!  It's a dictatorship.

To solve the problem of abusive behavior among the soldiers can be done very easily under a dictatorship.  Commanders don't need university study panels. 

It's a moral's issue. Either you have them or you DON'T.

Presently, the moral values of our military has been promoting a rapist to a higher rank while discharging the victim, the one who is 'weaker.'

Maybe, if the victim were stronger and cut off her attacker's penis; the victim would have gotten the promotion.

No way.  Instead of saluting her, the men would be cupping their private parts; and how can they carry their gun too?

It is the mind set of the military commanders that allows women soldiers to be raped and harassed by their fellow soldiers which makes them no better or different from other insane dictators who rule by fear.

Kristine's Path to Baking

Finally, a productive and comfortable niche. Kristine had been talking about going to Le Cordon Bleu culinary college as far back as 2006 when she was in the midst of her mental illness; or was that the time that I remember, because I drove her to her first interview. She was definitely suffering from mental illness; talking to her friendly voices; not in touch with reality.

But somehow, she managed a full day of interviewing and touring the site without a problem and was accepted.

The only thing missing was her sanity. Once she was back in the car going home, she was in her world of escape; her voices.

The only thing to pull her out of her own mind was the music on the radio or my driving.

"Mom, stop! "
"Watch out!"
"You can go, now."

She was definitely afraid for her life, so I know she was never intentionally suicidal.

When the psychiatrists in California couldn't find the correct drug for Kristine; Dr. Irvin, in Massachusetts found it in Clozapine in 2007. After her stay at the McLean Hospital, Appleton Residential facility and Gould Farm, also in Massachusetts; Kristine began her successful path back to Le Cordon Bleu college in Pasadena, CA.

She had tried going to the Le Cordon Bleu school in Boston while at Appleton; but she was not physically ready because the medication, although necessary for her sanity, was sucking the energy out of her. She had also gained weight which had slowed her down.

The Appleton staff suggested she go to Gould Farm where she was expected to work beyond her low level of energy and her anxiety. She ended up cooking in the main house and baking for the farm's commercial bakery supervised by a chef who graduated from the Culinary Institute of America (C.I.A.). She learned basic cooking and baking skills for feeding a multitude of people while keeping on a schedule; although, she was always good at meeting her goals.

All her Christmas needlepoint gifts were completed and framed by Christmas; no matter how many voices were distracting her.

When we thought it was time for her to come home; Gould Farm was not as encouraging. They insisted she go into another less supervised residential home than Gould Farm with more self responsibilty while she goes to the Le Cordon Bleu school in Boston.

Kristine will only heal if she doesn't get stressed, stays on the medication, and has a routine with a worthwhile goal.

There was no way Kristine would have less anxiety being in a residential facility having to shop and cook for a house of other mentally challenged patients, and depend on the local transit system in Boston, while going to school.  That would stress me out: having to depend on public transportation when missing one class would equate to a "F." 

It had been over 3 years since she left for Massachusetts and Kristine was getting better every day thanks to all the medical people and their staff, and I felt that it was time for Kristine to come home.
Gould Farm had insisted that I put Kristine in a residential facility in California, instead of having her come home to us. 
I said, "No."

Before Kristine came home, I decided to arrange every thing Kristine needed, in order, to provide the same things the mental facilities had provided. So I asked Dr. Irvin what I needed. He said to look for a Psychopharmacologist of which I only found two listed in Southern California; probably because I didn't know where to look, having never heard of one.


While looking, I found an interesting introduction to a book about Psychopharmacology which helps explain the history and definition.

Following through on the advise, it pointed me in the right direction for finding a good psychiatrist from which came an excellent therapist that Kristine treasures. From the psychiatrist comes the recommended management team for Clozaphine. A drug that needs monthly monitoring due to a possible low white blood cell count. The management team calls Kristine to make sure she is having her monthly blood work which is crucial for her survival on this drug.

At the same time, Kristine had done her own homework getting back into the Le Cordon Bleu Culinary college in Pasadena, CA.
From Massachusetts, she Emailed and phoned in all of her interviews and tests. She was already signed up for school by time she came home. Everything was in place.

She was already determined to drive the 3 hour round trip from Yorba Linda to Pasadena because she likes driving, listening to music for it relaxes her. 
She was ready to study, to cook and to be tested; to becoming one of the top students in class. 


She is, also, determined to lose weight; a sign that she is mentally getting back to where she was before she became extremely mentally ill. 


I say 'extremely' because I don't know when mental illness started. She was self-destructive when it came to her friendships. And naturally, she would not listen to me when I tried to warn her repeatedly.  Thus, experiencing life in her own individual way. A path she had to take alone.

But getting back to her culinary classes, she had initially signed up for the savory cooking classes. For some reason while at Gould Farm, working in the kitchen preparing savory dishes were more adventuresome than working in the bakery. She thought there would be more variety in savory cooking. But the stress of cooking everything so fast was not exciting after all; nor was chopping up potatoes and carrots to pea sides.  
Luckily, she was able to transition from the savory program to the patisserie and baking program without missing or repeating any classes. 


She is constantly baking at home now. 
She has found her niche. Some of our neighbors have begged her to stop giving them desserts because they couldn't stop eating them.


These are some of the baked goods she shared with our neighbors this month; but only some of them.

Valentine's Day cookies and candy

Devil's cake with Chocolate ganache (chocolate and cream filling and icing)

 Moroccan Chicken Bastilla Dish

 Cheese Cake covered in Chocolate Ganache


Bon Appétit

Obsessing with Doctors and Exams

I have a friend who goes to the doctor when she has the slightest pain. As a result, she is taking lots of different medications for different ailments. One of which is very costly to prevent any more deterioration in her body; so she is told by the doctors; although, there were never any clear diagnosis. 

I have an obsession of staying healthy, if only to keep the doctor away. I have a long list of why I avoid doctors, but I will cut it short since it's a blog; not a biography.

Years ago, when I had back pain, the first doctor I saw, said I was probably pregnant. Since that was his diagnosis for back pain, I wondered how many male patients he had that became pregnant.

I had 3 ruptured discs. I avoided going to any more doctors for months after that exam. My left leg atrophied during that time. In those days, I would have to undergo a myelogram  which I had heard, when done incorrectly, would result in death. So naturally, I was just extending my life by avoiding a doctor.  I was only 26 years old and felt I had not lived.

After three months, my husband found a doctor that I could trust and I had the surgery.  It was a success. I had two pregnancies in my 30's with no back pain. 

Yes, there were and are some excellent doctors.

When I had my first cesarean, it was unexpected since the doctor ruptured my mucus plug, prematurely by a few weeks, during an examination.  The baby was 'breech' and the doctor did not want to take any chances; so it happened so fast.

When I had my second cesarean, I was just as hysterical as I was during my first cesarean: having to be cut open while still awake; although, I was numbed up around my belly. The doctor wanted to make sure there were no drugs in my system while the baby was inside me.

After the baby was taken, the anesthesiologist was instructed to knock me out completely so the doctor could sew me up.  Before I went under, 

I heard the doctor tell the nurse, "Thank GOD! She shut her mouth."

I was terrified. I couldn't stop talking, knowing that I was being cut open at that very moment, like a stuffed pig. I thought they were going to be my last words on earth.

When I had my first office visit after the delivery, to see that same doctor, I told him that I heard what he said in the operating room. Of course, he denied it. I asked him if he had ever had surgery (obviously, not awake). He said he had. I asked him,"Was it FUN?"

More recently, when I went to the doctor, he told me I needed a colonoscopy since I had not had one in 6 years. I don't do mammograms, pap smears or colonoscopies anymore. The last two mammograms I had was nothing more than flatting my breasts, into pancakes, with excruciating pain; only to be told, twice, that there was a mass of something that turned out to be nothing.  

If I need that kind of torture, I can lie down in the street and have a car run over them.

The first and last time I had a colon exam, in the doctor's office, I passed out. The doctor said I had a difficult colon passage.  I wasn't his typical anus.

I can't remember when I had my last pap smear but I am sure it's been over ten years.

I always tried to be as clean as I could be when I went to the doctor. Bathing just before the exam, and once, when I was younger; taking extra precaution by using too much baby powder.

During the exam, the doctor pushed his rolling chair back from me and said to the nurse, "I need to come up for air."

What a waste of time, all those years of pap smears, and nothing; just some guy looking at my vagina.

So why do I avoid doctors?  Probably because I don't feel the love or get any respect after I have taken all my clothes off.

But besides that, my father died of pancreatic cancer. It could be in my DNA.  I could get lung cancer even though I never smoked. I have been around smokers all my life.  There is no getting away from ailments or infectious diseases. Doctors are not gods, and I don't want to be obsessed with going to them or taking multiple exams because they will ALWAYS find something.

Those who do go to the doctor, end up taking a pill for every ailment they have or getting surgery for something they don't need; or getting other complications, as a byproduct, from surgery they do need. 

  

I think we are all mindful of our health, but we don't go out of our way to do anything about the pain or bad habits we have acquired over the years, until it's too late. Nor can we stop what is predestine in most of our DNA, as I understand chromosomes can be changed for breast cancer candidates.

If I am going to be obsessed with my health, it might as well be on what I eat and how I exercise.

And in the end, it's my mental well-being that's most important to me because without a mind, what good is a body.

Egypt: Fear Not A Revolution

I think there is plenty of fear going around the world this week. Lots of "what ifs" when it comes to future regimes.  Will there be more terrorism; more dictators? Less oil?  High prices?

All this fear is coming from the world leaders and governments who fear they are losing control of the people.
I think, like any government; theirs or ours, they all want 'control' over the people. Haven't you noticed that once our elected officials are in office, the majority of them give a deaf ear to their constituents. Once they are in power, they want total control.

In Thomas Jefferson's day, some delegates thought he was slightly mad because he believed there should be government upheaval, periodically, by the people; especially, when the government tries to take power away from the people.

Our government did not care how the people of Egypt were mistreated by Murbarak, as long as, the billion plus dollars we gave him suited our government's interest:
Joe Biden says Egypt's Mubarak no dictator, he shouldn't step down
Jefferson would strongly disagree with our current Vice President, Biden.  Jefferson was for the French Revolution because it reflected the American Revolution. Even at that time, he thought revolutions by the people for freedom would ricochet around the world and topple all dictatorships. 

Now with global communication, it is happening; in spite of Mubarak shutting down the Internet, cell phones, and International news reports.
Revolutions are increasingly ricocheting around the world. 

We should not fear the protests of people against their own government.  As Thomas Jefferson would say, if he were here, "Revolution: it's a good thing, if it is of the people, by the people and for the people."

Related articles

• Egypt on the Brink of Revolution [Foreign Affairs] (gawker.com)