Bird's Eye View: Kristine's Path to Baking

Finally, a productive and comfortable niche. Kristine had been talking about going to Le Cordon Bleu culinary college as far back as 2006 when she was in the midst of her mental illness; or was that the time that I remember, because I drove her to her first interview. She was definitely suffering from mental illness; talking to her friendly voices; not in touch with reality.

But somehow, she managed a full day of interviewing and touring the site without a problem and was accepted.

The only thing missing was her sanity. Once she was back in the car going home, she was in her world of escape; her voices.

The only thing to pull her out of her own mind was the music on the radio or my driving.

"Mom, stop! "
"Watch out!"
"You can go, now."

She was definitely afraid for her life, so I know she was never intentionally suicidal.

When the psychiatrists in California couldn't find the correct drug for Kristine; Dr. Irvin, in Massachusetts found it in Clozapine in 2007. After her stay at the McLean Hospital, Appleton Residential facility and Gould Farm, also in Massachusetts; Kristine began her successful path back to Le Cordon Bleu college in Pasadena, CA.

She had tried going to the Le Cordon Bleu school in Boston while at Appleton; but she was not physically ready because the medication, although necessary for her sanity, was sucking the energy out of her. She had also gained weight which had slowed her down.

The Appleton staff suggested she go to Gould Farm where she was expected to work beyond her low level of energy and her anxiety. She ended up cooking in the main house and baking for the farm's commercial bakery supervised by a chef who graduated from the Culinary Institute of America (C.I.A.). She learned basic cooking and baking skills for feeding a multitude of people while keeping on a schedule; although, she was always good at meeting her goals.

All her Christmas needlepoint gifts were completed and framed by Christmas; no matter how many voices were distracting her.

When we thought it was time for her to come home; Gould Farm was not as encouraging. They insisted she go into another less supervised residential home than Gould Farm with more self responsibilty while she goes to the Le Cordon Bleu school in Boston.

Kristine will only heal if she doesn't get stressed, stays on the medication, and has a routine with a worthwhile goal.

There was no way Kristine would have less anxiety being in a residential facility having to shop and cook for a house of other mentally challenged patients, and depend on the local transit system in Boston, while going to school. That would stress me out: having to depend on public transportation when missing one class would equate to a "F."

It had been over 3 years since she left for Massachusetts and Kristine was getting better every day thanks to all the medical people and their staff, and I felt that it was time for Kristine to come home.
Gould Farm had insisted that I put Kristine in a residential facility in California, instead of having her come home to us.
I said, "No."

Before Kristine came home, I decided to arrange every thing Kristine needed, in order, to provide the same things the mental facilities had provided. So I asked Dr. Irvin what I needed. He said to look for a Psychopharmacologist of which I only found two listed in Southern California; probably because I didn't know where to look, having never heard of one.

While looking, I found an interesting introduction to a book about Psychopharmacology which helps explain the history and definition.

Following through on the advise, it pointed me in the right direction for finding a good psychiatrist from which came an excellent therapist that Kristine treasures. From the psychiatrist comes the recommended management team for Clozaphine. A drug that needs monthly monitoring due to a possible low white blood cell count. The management team calls Kristine to make sure she is having her monthly blood work which is crucial for her survival on this drug.

At the same time, Kristine had done her own homework getting back into the Le Cordon Bleu Culinary college in Pasadena, CA.
From Massachusetts, she Emailed and phoned in all of her interviews and tests. She was already signed up for school by time she came home. Everything was in place.

She was already determined to drive the 3 hour round trip from Yorba Linda to Pasadena because she likes driving, listening to music for it relaxes her.
She was ready to study, to cook and to be tested; to becoming one of the top students in class.

She is, also, determined to lose weight; a sign that she is mentally getting back to where she was before she became extremely mentally ill.

I say 'extremely' because I don't know when mental illness started. She was self-destructive when it came to her friendships. And naturally, she would not listen to me when I tried to warn her repeatedly. Thus, experiencing life in her own individual way. A path she had to take alone.

But getting back to her culinary classes, she had initially signed up for the savory cooking classes. For some reason while at Gould Farm, working in the kitchen preparing savory dishes were more adventuresome than working in the bakery. She thought there would be more variety in savory cooking. But the stress of cooking everything so fast was not exciting after all; nor was chopping up potatoes and carrots to pea sides.
Luckily, she was able to transition from the savory program to the patisserie and baking program without missing or repeating any classes.

She is constantly baking at home now.
She has found her niche. Some of our neighbors have begged her to stop giving them desserts because they couldn't stop eating them.

These are some of the baked goods she shared with our neighbors this month; but only some of them.