From 2007, Kristine has been succeeding, going through her goals at a rapid pace, that I can't keep up with the passing time. She feels she has lost time, while tucked away on the sidelines of her real life, by being mentally ill. She must catch up, now, that her mind is working better.
Back then, is so far behind us that I cannot remember the bad times, as clearly, and neither can Kristine who wants to write her own story one day.
She remembers what she endured during those delusional years. Never imagining that she would get passed it; to this more controlled state of mind.
She doesn't want to go back, mentally or physically, to any of those 'lost life' places.
Her progress started from Appleton House at McLean Hospital, Belmont, MA in 2007; to Gould Farm in Monterey, MA in 2009; and Le Cordon Bleu in Pasadena, CA in 2010.
Hopefully, she will continue on through her Internship, this week, with Colette's Cakes, in New York City in 2011.
Before her road to recovery, we saw no concrete evidence of Hope as she was just an experimental rat for psychiatrists who were using different mind altering drugs that would make her more delusional and suicidal without regard to her feelings or complaints of feeling worse after taking the medication. We normally heard, " My other patients don't have those side effects."
Psychiatrists should know, not everyone has the same reaction to the same drug because people are individuals and it's not an "exact science." Somewhere, they had forgotten.
Keeping in mind, there are some good psychiatrists who are very mindful of the drugs they give their patients. They listen to feedback, not always doubting their delusional patient's or care taker's observations.
I had no confidence in any psychiatrist and neither did Kristine before 2007.
During that year, my husband was reading a murder mystery novel that thanked the McLean Hospital's psychiatric Department in the prologue which lead to Dr. Irvin and Mary Gormley at Appleton House.
Although I was for treatment, I was not for more medication because I didn't see a positive effect from all the previous drugs she took. They had to bring, both Kristine and me along, kicking and screaming; in order for us to believe, there is hope in Clozapine; the high end drug that has to be monitored monthly through blood tests; incase, a patient's white blood cells decreases. Kristine was one of the lucky ones who could handle the drug. A drug that repairs the brain, not just massages it.
She is on the correct medication for her schizoaffective disorder, and continues to get better every day.
She continues to set goals for herself, advancing through each one; in spite, of her symptoms, side effects or anxieties that may flare up with each changing circumstance.
Part of Kristine's Le Cordon Bleu course is to Intern for 3 months. Having applied to different cake and pastry shops in Southern California, she ended up going to Colette's Cake in New York City.
Naturally, I was concerned about the distance and her schizoaffective disorder in a large strange city. She had never been to New York; although she had Interned in London and Paris while in college before her illness was known.
The week before she left for NYC; her way of packing is having her extra large suitcase, lying in the middle of the foyer; plying everything she plans to take with her, on top. The last few hours before walking out the door, she throws everything in the suitcase, unwrapped new things and old. Only the bare minimum of clothes, but lots of bath products for her hair and skin.
The day she left on the Red Eye:
She scheduled a hair appointment at 8 AM; to have her bleach blond hair toned down, blending her darker roots together so it would grow out looking natural.
She, personally; picked up her medication at the pharmacy just to make sure they gave her all the medications she needed because they have made mistakes in the past.
She returned an item for a refund, realizing that she was short on cash and didn't need the cooking item she bought.
We had her last California meal at her favorite sushi restaurant and then it was off to the LA airport around 9:30 PM.
She was nervous, but I told her lots of people get nervous traveling; especially little old ladies who are dehumanized, going through security; being searched for TNT in their Depends. It's normal for everyone to be considered a terrorist at the airport; except for a real terrorist. Those are the ones who get on board. That's why they are called, "terrorists."
But I digress.
There are some things that don't connect in her mind. The importance of safe guarding valuables that don't seem valuable. A week before she left, her car was vandalized in the school parking structure because she left her phone in the front seat.
The second day in NY it poured. She walked in the rain using her navigation system in her Second new phone which shorted out and stopped working; getting her lost for an hour.
In spite, of her brain dead attitude, she was knowledgeable enough to seek out a local Sprint store to have it checked and replaced. She was counting on her phone's navigation to help her get to her first day of work.
But being, absent minded, forces her to rely on a paper map now; while she waits a good full week for her third new phone to arrive. She will be forced to Skype and read my E-mail now, what a bummer.
She is not alone in NYC. Her sister lives there with her boyfriend. Kathleen showed her the best routes to take to work; basically, holding her hand the first few days.
She has sorority sisters there, as well as another Cordon Bleu student from her school, Interning with her.
It's a three month Internship which doesn't require a lease, so she rents a very small room in New Jersey. An apartment, she shares with the owner and another renter, that she found online. The landlord had many good reviews from other renters and she seems very nice.
Tomorrow will be Kristine's first day of work at Colette's Cakes. Hopefully, her Internship will be a piece of cake.
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