Favoring Mediocrity

When my daughters and my nephew were children,  I remember one of the grandparents doting on my oldest as if she was going to be a CEO of a major company. She was smart and related to adults in conversation. He always wanted to talk to her on the phone. He wanted to know what she was doing. He praised her excessively, all the while, ignoring the other grandchildren. He acted as if they didn't deserve his attention.

He's selection of who was deserving and who wasn't deserving of his godly attention was so blatant. I always remembered when he called. He only wanted to  talk to my oldest daughter of the children. He never inquired about or asked to speak to the youngest.

I once asked my youngest daughter how she felt about being excluded by her grandparent. She said it was fine because she did not have to live up to that expectation he had for her sister. Although, I am sure she felt hurt, she also felt free to do as she pleased which she did.

Soon after that grandparent died, my oldest daughter became mentally ill with a schizoaffective disorder. Although, she never lost her intelligence, she acquired disabilities of hearing voices and having anxiety attacks. It has taken five years to manage the intrusive disorder through drugs, so she can live a fuller life.

The other grandchildren who were completely ignored continued on with their supposedly mediocre lives; breaking free from that mediocrity status that was given to them by their grandparent.  They grew up socially adjusted with many friends and very happy; achieving success in their own individual way.

I remember my husband saying one day that he was glad that grandparent died so he would not see what became of our eldest daughter.   I had often wondered too; if that grandparent had lived, would he have ignored her when she no longer lived up to his expectation; like he ignored the other children.

I am also glad he died because I don't want to know. Death is sometimes a good thing. Although, I felt he would know anyway, even in death. Only now in death, he can see he's not God and he can't control the destiny of children by willing it through favoritism.

Although I hear that favoritism was promoted in the Bible; in God's eyes, it might seem a good thing to be favored, but it's a bad example; even for God to use. But since man wrote the Bible, I am sure if it were written by a woman, the other child would have been favored.

Everyone has their favorites which is not a good thing and should have been one of the Commandments. Why only 10 Commandments? Because God only gave man 10 fingers? What about the toes?

Looking back from the future, I often think: we never knew what God was going to hand us, but I do feel He did favor us by giving us the strength to go forward. He favored my daughter by giving her more depth and understanding of the world in which she lives beyond the superficial world she thought she wanted. He favored us by giving us the means to provide for her care; through the professional and neighborly support we needed.

He favored us, I feel, not because He thought we are brilliant and talented, but because He knows we are Mediocre.